Bullies to Buddies

Everyone gets teased, but Exchange Students can end it with this secret simple method. 

It happens to everyone at some point or other.  Exchange students can get picked on and be convinced that American students hate them or worse, that there is something wrong with them.  The truth is that this is not at all the case.  

The secret, simple method to making the teasing stop is a change of attitude. That means that you only have to change the way you think about the teasing.  

Usually people's attitude to being teased is, "Oh, no! They're making fun of me! I have to make them stop!"   Your new attitude is that it's perfectly all right for them to tease you, why in the world should you be mad at them for doing it?

If they call you names and you don't care, who is going to look stupid, you or them? They are going to look stupid, that's who. And who is going to feel stupid, you or them? They are going to feel stupid, too. A person who is calling out nasty names to someone who doesn't give a darn looks pretty dumb. And the worse the words are, the dumber he looks. So let them tease away all they want.

So, Don't do anything to make your tormentors stop teasing you. Do not tell them to stop. Do not call them names back. Do not tell the teacher on them. Do not tell your parents or their parents.

Do not even be angry at them! "Not even be angry?" you may be thinking. "Why shouldn't I be angry when they call me names?"

The truth is that they don't really hate you and they don't really want to hurt you. What they really want to do is have fun provoking a reaction. As soon as you get mad, you lose and they win. The more upset you get, and the harder you try to stop them, the more you look like a fool. 

It's not necessary to act like you're made of stone. If your teasers put their face right in front of yours and say, "What's the matter, don't you hear me?" it's all right to answer, "Yes, of course I hear you!"

If you feel like you should be saying more to them, it's all right, as long as you are giving them permission to insult you and you're not getting mad at them.  Here are some examples:

"If you want to call me names, that's OK"; 


"If you enjoy making fun of me, you can do it all day long."

This will stop them very quickly. Just make sure to say it without any anger at all. And you must really mean it when you say it.

How about if what they are saying is true? Should you do anything then? What if your mother is a drug addict. Should you do anything about it when kids yell, "Your mother is a crackhead!"?

No, you shouldn't. If you try to stop them, it will only make them do it more. Remember, the real reason they are teasing you is not that they have to tell you the truth about yourself. The only reason they do it is because it's fun to upset you. Even if your mother really is a drug addict, the people who yell it out will still feel stupid if you let them do it. In fact, they will probably end up feeling guilty for having made fun of your mother. So let them say whatever they want, even if it's true. If you don't let it bother you, it will bother them.